From Script To Screen: Online Greenlight Review Part 2


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  1. OGR 07/02/2019

    Hey Shannon - well done on pushing this as far as you have. Looking good, and this project is playing to your strengths. I'm not completely sure why the theatre is so knackered-looking? It doesn't seem to be a plot point really... I guess you just mean that it isn't a huge glamorous theatre, and the daughter is just starting out in her career, but right now, the concept art for the theatre is making it look like a Scooby-Doo set.

    Another refinement for me is to absolutely lock down the regionality/temporality of your production design; this looks American to me - not a problem - but 'which' America and when? There's an 80s vibe coming through your influence maps, but a slightly 50s vibe coming off your theatre... is this a San Francisco-set story, or a Chicago-set story? I'd like you to pinpoint your story more precisely - just to streamline your production design and really lock it down. Also - you've got a lot of dialogue; you need that in your animatic and you need to be working with it asap - because dialogue takes as long as it takes in terms of duration, and until you'v got your characters talking, you won't really know how your story is pacing. In terms of getting voice over artists to work for you - for not much £££ - visit the Fivver site:

    https://www.fiverr.com/categories/music-audio/voice-overs?source=hplo_search_tag&pos=1&name=voice-overs

    Don't be timid - search for voices that suit, make contact, negotiate - get some voice tracks asap.

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